What to Believe

Janet thinks I'm skeptical — one of the most skeptical people she's ever run into.

It's always interesting when people make observations like that about you. You get to compare how they perceive you with how you perceive yourself. The truth is, I have always been a very trusting person, and I choose to remain trusting, generally speaking, in spite of everything.

But I know why Janet thinks I'm skeptical. It's because I argue with her on matters of faith.

Janet has become a serious student of the Bible again after years of exploring other paths. I'm more interested in the other paths.

I no longer call myself a Christian because I think it's a loaded term, loaded with preconceptions, and I'm trying to move beyond that — beyond my own preconceptions and the confining concepts of others.

(As an aside, I had the great good fortune of studying under the late Dr. Gordan Frazee, a self-described Christian mystic, at Linfield College in Oregon. While he had a deep knowledge of the Bible and all it's possible interpretations, his most lasting lesson was simply the way he lived his life. One of his great virtues was not trying to make his students see things his way — a virtue I'm still striving toward. Not that I have any students, but you know what I mean.)

When Janet talks about the Bible, I tend to point out what I see as lapses in logic and flawed reasoning. She, on the other hand, seems to think of logic as a tired argument that no longer works for her.

The surprise here is that I don't really disagree with her on that point (if I understood her correctly). Logic and reason will only take you so far.

Janet doesn't believe in hell.

I don't either.

She says she came to that conclusion from studying the Bible.

I came to the same conclusion, not through the Bible and not through reason. Some things you just know, deep down, and that's what I trust. More than the Bible. More than reason.